So, the battle arrives..........

It doesn’t matter what happened for the rest of the week.  The focus was on Sunday.

The Showdown.

It was finally here.  Sadly, whilst it was still going to be an epic encounter, some of the combatants had mysteriously disappeared.  Dave was skulking off to do the 10 k’s instead.  MXWalker was battling a hangover (allegedly – he looked alright to me) and Anti-Sport was nowhere to be seen.

Fortunately, Mank was man enough to show and, if his running was as good as his running at the mouth, it was going to be a race of epic proportions.

But firstly, let’s take a step back and re-visit how all this come about.  Nearly 3 months ago, a challenge was issued for the “Southern Region BOP Half Marathon Invitational” to be held at the end of May as part of the Sri Chinmoy festival of running weekend at Williamstown.  After a dismal effort at WSTC Australia Day Enduro Tri, it appears Mank was trying to bring everyone else down to his level so issued the challenge to fellow BOP’ers.

Never one to duck a challenge, I soon signed up.  That was relatively easy.  Surely the training can’t be much harder??  Will give it another couple of weeks before starting……..

Shortly after signing up, this blog was started and my opposition was keenly interested.  Clearly my first blog was read and digested as it was soon after that the first official protest was lodged.  Apparently, completing a handful of HIM’s in circa 5hrs 30mins was grounds for disqualification as this was outside the qualifying time for the BOP invitational.  To qualify for BOP status I needed to be slower, however once clarifying that those times were from some time ago and that my last HIM time was a 6.47, I was accepted into the challenge.  Mank would rue the day!!!!

So, duly accepted it was time to get into the hard work – the sledging.  See, it’s not about the run at all.  It’s all about the sledge and I didn’t want to disappoint.  However, I also knew I was up against some sledging champions, and all proved this at various times over the next few months.  Anti-Sport proved to be a hit and run expert, Dave was a pancake focussed and Mank was the Champion of the “Grand Sledge”.  An example of which can be seen here - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/video/video.php?v=177267242328158&comments.

So, with less than a week to go the anticipation was building, as was the intensity of the sledges.  Several threads on Trannies were infiltrated by stealth with topics being overtaken by the upcoming challenge and clearly Mank was feeling the pressure.  Late one evening, obviously panic stricken and unable to sleep, Mank turned to poetry to try and keep on top of his rising anxiety, and this pitiful display was provided:


Ayto, Ayto, tall and fat
Dare not wear his Trannies hat
On Sunday when he comes to play
With Mank and friends down Newport way
Lest he be seen and treated to
A tag, the likes of which would bring
Tears to the eye of Cameron Ling

The bureau says its gonna be
Cold as f*ck, and hopefully
Raining hard enough to hide
The scene when Ayto's spirit dies
And Mank, who hasn't worked at all
While drafting off this butterball
Speeds to the pancake stall in time
To eat both Ayto's share, and mine

For a first up effort I guess it wasn’t too bad, but Mank was clearly feeling the extreme pressure.  Laughable really, considering the total amount of kilometres I had covered in training, however I’m not one to let the truth get in the way of a good sledge, so it was onto my retort:

The lead up was hard
The lead up was long
But Ayto is looking forward
to proving Mank wrong
You see, he has his priorities all amuck
Whereas I, well, I couldn't give a f@#k
The result of the race is secondary
The potential to sledge is what fills me with glee
Oh, and what a target is our fat friend Mank
He is, after all, built like a tank.

2500, I heard in the field
But only one likely to be killed
You see, I have this extemely cunning plan
to deploy on this lardy little man
This plan is to be done in three parts
To break him, in his heart of hearts
The first is to be done with the cut of my tongue
The second, of course, will be done on the run
The most important however, he says with a smile
Will be at the end.......at the inaugural pancake mile


Race day soon came around and it was a very early start.  I was up at 4.30am for a bowl of porridge and to get the gear ready to head off.  I was very conscious of ensuring that I saved plenty of room for the pancakes.  Guysy soon arrived for the trip down to spectate and act as official photographer for the day, to be able assisted by the Hardman, who we picked up on the way.

We arrived at Newport by 8am, and after parking made our way to the start line.  On the walk to the start, I gave Mank a call to see if he had left any pancakes for later.  He mumbled something however I believe that said pancakes made understanding him exceptionally difficult.  Eventually found him in the crowd, along with a few others including Tri Mel & Peter, who looked in exceptional nick and resplendent with a 1970’s era white headband.  Should look good in Kona too!

With barely 10 minutes to start, it was time to drag the runners out and pin the number on.  Nothing like being ready with plenty of time.

Stilling pinning the number on with barely 5 minutes till start time.

Final preparations done.....

I lost Mank in the crowd at the start line, however I wasn’t concerned.  I was confident that once the crowd thinned out and I settled into a rhythm, that he would show up.  Besides, whilst I might not have been able to see him I’m sure I could hear him skulking around.  A champion skulker if I’ve ever seen one.

Once out on course, I was pleased at the amount of support out there with plenty of people cheering me on.  Either that, or they were yelling at their kiddies to get out of the way or something.  Saw a mate Nico at about the 5km mark.  Well, he was at 7km as he was heading back by then and was moving really well on the way to a 1hr 27min half.  Shortly after that, Blew was making his way back north as was also moving well, finishing in 1hr 36min.  Absolutely firing as he heads off to Kona in a few months’ time.

Getting to the 7km mark, MXWalker glides by on his bike. He tells me he is too hungover to run, however he appears to be handling the bike and the camera sufficiently well.  He is, however, a great source of intel, and he advises me that Mank is actually behind me, however is looking strong.  I am still right on my predicted race pace (what an oxymoron that comment is!!) of 5.40min km’s, which will see me finish sub 2 hours (just).

Still going strongat about the 8km mark, but Mank is...........skulking.

Getting to the 10km mark, I start to hear………..what is that?  It sounds…………yes, it sounds very much like skulking.  Could it be?  It is then that I get the dreaded slap on the arse as Mank runs up to my shoulder.  WTF is this?  How is it possible this hairy little man is here running beside me?

We exchange pleasantries and polite conversation for the next 2km’s as we run pretty much side by side, with each of us at various times surging ahead by a stride or two.  We were just feeling each other out.  This was turning into something epic.  Thoughts of the infamous “Ironwar” were going through my head.  Could this showdown be talked about into eternity?  There was only one way to find out.

At the 12km mark however, it had all gone pear shaped as Mank moved ahead by several strides……..then several more……..then several more again and soon he was moving ahead until he opened up a break of about 80 metres.  I could see him up there, not moving away, not getting closer, just………..skulking.  Like a bit fat skulker.

It was now that all the negative thoughts were going through my head and I thought I am done.  I was starting to regret my decision to taper from 3 months out.  Surely I should have known better.  I’ve tried the 3 month taper before and it hasn’t worked.  What made me think that it would get me through this time?  Was I delusional?

As we made our way beneath the Westgate, these thoughts continued to plague me and as we made our way to the turnaround point I could still see that Mank had the 80 odd metres on me………and I was hurting.  My quads felt like jelly, my shins had what felt like 6 inch roofing nails being hammered into them and my feet, my poor aching feet………

However, what was this?  Does that gap appear to be decreasing?  I think it is as Mank was now only about 50 metres in front and appeared to be in trouble.  This was enough for my second wind, the head came up and the chest puffed out and I was soon flying at circa 6min/km pace.  As I say…….flying.

Rounding the corner at about the 17km mark, the Ayto cheer squad spotted me and gave pumped me up even further and it was at this point that Mank was only about 10 metres in front.  I would have loved to have completely demoralised my opposition by smashing past him, but sadly the best I could manage was a passing manoeuvre that took the best part of half a kilometre.  In a show of support, I commented to Mank to “Keep going mate – nearly there”, to which I received the response of “F@#k you, Ayton” or words to that effect.

The final turnaround was about 2.5km from home and was time to soak up the atmosphere and I would have……….if I wasn’t running scared.  I just wasn’t game to turn around and look as I was afraid I would see the skulker and he was just playing with me, ready to pounce at the last minute and take the chocolates.

So it was head down and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other right through to the end.  I would like to know who the sadistic prick is who picked the course with the tiny little rise up to the back of the running track with about 400 metres to go.  It was literally only a handful of steps but it was enough to have me cursing the RD to hell and back.

Onto the track and around through the finish line for a solid effort of 2.05.13, with a surging, gut busting sprint to finish of course.  With just enough time to catch my breath, it was time to see Mank come across the line in 2.07.27.  So, after 21.1km it was less that 2 ½ minutes that separated us.  Makes for an outstanding follow up challenge!!  What say you Mank?

With less than 100m to go, it was time to play up to the crowd (that was left).

After a drink, a bit of a chat and the obligatory photos it was time to hobble across to the pancakes stall.  Wasn’t much of a race as I don’t think that either one of us was in the mood for anything quicker than a slow hobble.  Despite the significant talking up of each other’s abilities in the lead up to the race, it is sad to say that 2 pancakes with maple syrup was the limit for the both of us.  Clearly some work to do in this area.

All mates again at the end..........I think.

So that was the great "Southern Region BOP Half Marathon Invitational”.  Was a heap of fun with the whole lead up and the numerous sledges.  I would like to say the race itself was fun, but I am just not made for running.  Was great to catch up with the guys and have a bit of fun though, and special thanks to all those spread around the course and cheering us on.

As for the rest of the week, due to a few early starts with work, it was very light on for training as follows:

Thursday                             Run 7km, 39m 57s

Friday                                  Bike 44km, 1hr 25mins, 30.9k avg

Saturday                              Swim 2km, 40mins 27 sec

Sunday                                Williamstown Half 21.1km, 2hr 5mins 13 sec

As a result of this light week, the official weigh in this morning came in at 109.0kg, a loss of 0.5kg for the week.  Nothing spectacular, but still moving in the right direction.

As for today, well, all I can say is that I hope Mank that your legs feel exactly the same as mine today.  After getting back to the car, I got changed into my compression gear (yep, tosser I know, but it works ok!!) and then 2 hours in the car to get home.  I then headed down to the gym and spent nearly an hour in the spa.  Got home and back into the compression gear and guess what – it’s all done shit!! 

I barely managed to get up the stairs at work today………and coming back down them was even worse.  Myotherapy appointment tomorrow will be interesting.

Anyway, look forward to the next BOP challenge.  What’s it gonna be?  And more importantly, who’s gonna man up and have a crack???

More importantly, it is now time to move on the next great battle - Otter V's Dwarf at Cairns next weekend.  Who will prevail? Who will need a space blanket? And who might possibly expire? Look forward to seeing the results next weekend.

Train safe

Ayto